And breathe. What a game.
Chelsea looked destined for another shocking defeat in the Premier League last night as they let a two-goal lead slip to Manchester United – until Cole Palmer stepped up, that is.
Mauricio Pochettino must have a shrine to the young Englishman in his house because, at times, it feels like he's the only reason the Argentine still has a job.
That said, another Chelsea ace will be thanking their lucky stars that Manchester City sold the talented gem to the Blues last summer after their shocking performance last night.
Cole Palmer's performance vs Manchester United
He may not have opened the scoring for the Pensioners last night, but there can be no denying that it was the Palmer show once again.
The 21-year-old sensation doubled the west Londoners' lead in the 19th minute with an ice-cold penalty, restored parity with another one 81 minutes after that, and scored the winner courtesy of a Scott McTominay deflection just 60 seconds later.
It was an unreal performance from the Wythenshawe-dynamo and one fully deserving of the 10/10 the Standard's Nizaar Kinsella gave, who described his display as 'heroic.'
While his hat-trick will be the main topic of discussion – and rightly so – the rest of his game was equally impressive.
In his 103 minutes of action, he had five shots on target, won five of his eight duels, made two interceptions, created one big chance, played eight key passes, and took 74 touches.
Minutes
103'
Goals
3
Expected Goals
1.86
Expected Assists
0.42
Touches
74
Key Passes
8
Big Chances Created
1
Shots on Target
5
Shots Blocked
4
Duels (Won)
8 (5)
Interceptions
1
In all, it was a masterful showing from the incredibly talented youngster and one that saved one of his teammates from significantly more flak.
Marc Cucurella's performance vs Manchester United
The dismally poor player in question is Marc Cucurella, who, despite looking decent at the start of the game, only further proved that he simply isn't good enough for the Blues.
The Spaniard was lively for the first 20 minutes or so, bombing up and down the byline and even winning the first penalty of the game, but as the match went on, his defensive fragilities came to the fore.
For example, in his 103 minutes of action, he lost six of his 11 duels, lost the ball 13 times, was dribbled past a whopping four times, committed one foul and managed a paltry passing accuracy of just 78%.
Minutes
103'
Expected Goals
0.05
Expected Assists
0.02
Dribbled Past
4
Duels (Won)
11 (5)
Possession Lost
13
Fouls
1
Accurate Passes
35/35 (78%)
Kinsella was particularly harsh on the former Brighton & Hove ace in his player ratings, writing that he was 'terrible defensively', blaming him for Alejandro Garnacho's second goal, and ultimately awarding him a 5/10, which might actually be too generous – especially for a full-back who lost out to Antony of all people.
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Ultimately, the 25-year-old was all over the place last night, and were it not for the herculean efforts of Palmer almost single-handedly winning the game for the Blues, he would have been in for an awful lot more criticism.
